It was a dinner date a couple of months ago that my girlfriend and I are still arguing over. It has been a topic of discussion with our relationship counselor. Since then, my GF has a selected memory of what happened and how it was resolved. Now I think I need to bring it up again.
We went out to dinner with ten people. The ten consisted of four couples and two single women who were staying as guests at one of the couple’s homes.
The bill came to just over $1,000. That’s right, one thousand dollars for dinner, averaging at $100 per person.
"I was hoping that you might treat for all of us," my girlfriend said to me. "But seeing as you count pennies it didn’t surprise me when you said nothing."
I do not mind taking my GF out to dinner, but I am not a millionaire and I cannot afford to take all of her friends out for a cost of a thousand dollar dinner.
One of the couples had two female guests staying at their home. But instead of splitting the bill between them and their guests, and a seperate bill for the other three couples, the couple that had hosted the two girls at their home decided that "the gentlemen will treat the ladies." And so the bill of ten people was divided up among the four guys.
I have four credit cards and I don’t remember which one of the cards I put my share of that dinner bill on. I remember being charged $250 for my share of the bill and my girlfriend disputes it.
When we go out on our own, she will often offer to treat or pay for half the bill. I have accepted her offers and I thought that was fine.
But when we got into an argument about the thousand dollar dinner bill, she added "most women would not put up with having to pay for dinners with you. I was just being nice because it sounds like you really can’t afford to date anyone right now."
Instead of going to a fast food place or casual dining, my GF and her friends like to go to places where the waiter pours wine like water throughout the course of dinner.
Lastly, the women that were treated are registered nurses that make over $90K a year in salaries. So two people with combined incomes of over $180K were treated because of their gender. One guy is a public school teacher who makes about $23K, the other guy is a commercial painter who makes $25, the other guy is a medical technician who makes $40, and I made about $20K last year trying to start up my own business.
I think a lot of these rules were written back when women did not work and lived with their fathers. Today, many women earn more money than men and more men have been laid off from work than women in the current recession. If women are more gainfully employed today and demand to be paid as much as men, then they should start accepting the responsibility of their new found income.
If you resent being treated like a child, then do not expect to be supported like one.
If you want the respect that comes with being a working adult, you are expected to pay your fair share as a working adult.
If the couple that hosted the two women at their home didn’t want the $90K a year RNs to pay for their own dinner and booze, then they should have had the waiter issue them a seperate check treating their own guests and not expect the entire group to pay for a bunch of moochers in skirts.
im going to be honest that i only read half of it because that is a very long story.
sorry about that
but here is what i think, no person should be expect to pay a bill for a group meal expet parents with children but they do not count in this situation. when i go out with my boyfriend i want to pay, i like to feel independent and this is how i do it, some girls arent like this my friend makes her boyfriend pay for everything and i think its awful, but anyway even when i go out with my friends i do want him to pay for me, though i personally would never say, this is because it makes me the envy of all my friends because i have a caring boyfriend, and please tell me you understand the laws of boyfriends wars because evert girl plays it if she admits is or not.
its my personal belief that each person should pay for what they eat, i do not do spilting equally so i would definatly have agreed to this, always sort out payment issues before eating so at the end you know what to expect.
and finally do not let a fight spoil your relationship